This kind of open communication can be challenging, but it’s also the best way to form a legitimate friendship with her. How about you? You want to come across as sassy and classy. How To Respond To Your Ex The Right Way. Do you want her back? And if he doesn’t reply, you can always wait a few weeks and send him a “how are you” message. Here’s how. This is sign only applies if things have been quite tense in the past. Heavy topics like this rarely go well over text message. Deciding exactly what you want here isn’t always a simple decision. Make sure you remain honest if you decide to speak. Just watched The Lion King. 1: She’s trying to keep you as a backup OR get back together with you. Good. If the breakup is still very fresh, you might need more time to … Regardless of whether you want to get back together or what stage of the breakup you’re going through (i.e., No Contact), it’s just polite and classy to reply back to others. If that’s the case, let her know where your head is at so you can both talk it through. Let me break it down into two pieces: the mindset and the text message. Required fields are marked *. In response, friend B doesn’t simply ask How are you? After you send this, you MUST engage in no-contact (preferably for 30+ days). How about you? Whether your first response is anger, heartbreak or something in between, letting that dictate your reply is a bad move. Maybe she still has your stuff. You may have thought it was over and been very happy about that, or maybe you have missed him. Instead, just try to stay objective about what went wrong. Don’t overthink it. After you have bid your goodbyes for the day or night – Not responding isn’t rude/impolite, but continuing to text long after your ex stopped responding is a little needy/clingy. “Hi, Boss, how are you?” If you are in a business situation, you might be saying hello to your boss or colleague, or meeting someone for the first time. But this can sound a little boring and dry. People will expect you to say “good” or “fine,” so surprise them by coming up with an unexpected answer. When your ex asks for your help. If you're hurt about how things ended and need closure on why he has been MIA, then respond, but only if you … Therefore, whether you’re interested in the job or not, how you respond can speak volumes. At the very least, he should reply since he’s the one that initiated. Are you familiar with the no contact rule? For such a simple question, it sure can be a complicated topic. All you need to do is respond to your ex in a normal, calm, collected manner and show that you’re not holding any grudges. That’s how you should perceive it: it’s a welcome message from an old friend. From this point, it’s probably a good idea to suggest meeting up for a coffee or something to discuss in person. I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside. If your ex asks you How are you.. it should not affect you in any other way than a random question by any random person. Trust me, it feels better when you throw the ball back into his court and don’t care if he responds back or not. Until you figure out where the two of you stand, it’s best to keep that to yourself. This is a simple, straight answer. It also gives him something to reply back with if he chooses to continue the conversation. 1. If you don't want to talk about your future plans in depth, opt for a vague response that turns an entirely different topic back on the asker. You may feel an urgency to respond right away, but slowing down can make sure that you're happy with your response to your ex and that you are actually ready to handle speaking with them. No matter the form of communication with your ex, ask yourself, "Does this require a reply?" After you send this, you MUST engage in no-contact (preferably for 30+ days). It is only natural that you will want a quirky response other than the old and bold “I’m fine, thank you.” If you want to show off how unique and witty you are, these responses are good to go with. You have to get creative when you get a text from your ex, and learn how to ignore them and make them stop talking to you. This one works well when you're still in your … Reason #6: Your Ex-Boyfriend Thought of You And Wanted to Know How You’re Doing. If they don’t want to give it to you, then there’s not much you can do, right? Maybe this time apart is exactly what we needed to realize that. Let him ponder about your reply. I’m a big believer that every woman should have these two characteristics: sassy and classy. There’s no need to make any requests here or enforce any space between the two of you. I’d suggest approaching it with a very generic “I’m good, how are you?”. If you know that you are one-of-a-kind, you can’t really do the same old routine. Responding to an interview request is the beginning of your communication. Make him wonder what life is like without him but not too much that he thinks you’ll better without him. Make sure you are clear about your own motives. Short, respectful and to the point. And then we both spend a long moment gazing directly into the abyss. Before you text an ex, try to honor a month-long “no contact rule” first. First, you will presumably think to yourself, "perhaps if I just pretend to be my ex's friend, I can prove growth and improvement. Asking questions about you dating status. This is exactly why you should keep a few different replies to “How are you?” ready. In that time before you reply to her message, try to figure out exactly what you want from this situation. But if you can quickly shake off the text, feel free to ignore that message. If she cheated on you or did something equally unforgivable, you may never want to see her again. You reciprocate what he asked to show that you care and throw the conversation back to him. How are you?” (very positive) “Good, thanks, and you?” (positive – this is the most common answer) “Fine, thanks. You’re no longer together and you need to make decisions for yourself. That way, you can get moving on with your amazing life. “Hi!” the other person says back. Say one or two positive words, thank them for asking, and ask them the same question. This puts a temporary hold on communication but lets her know why. You might answer this way if someone you don't know, like a waiter at a restaurant, asks how you are. This is a more friendly-sounding answer than "fine". If you’re someone who doesn’t like bragging about yourself, these kinds of questions can be difficult to answer. Please don’t message me.”. It’s only natural that this would leave you confused. It’s a delicate situation and she’ll appreciate you not pressuring her right now. If you’re not ready to text back, then wait a few days to create the perfect message. If you don't say anything else, though, it might be a signal that you don't want to continue the conversation. Comment document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a13964089f7bc1b4cd9761a242256884" );document.getElementById("jf66ca30eb").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); on How To Respond To An Ex Asking How You Are With Dignity, How To Talk To Your Ex: The Sassy Way Your Ex Will Respond, How To Text Your Ex The Right Way And Get A Response. Hope it helps ☺ 14.3K views From my coaching experience, the longer you hang on to a message you haven’t replied, the more you’ll think about it. 4. Take … Don’t try to read into this message too much too. It’s your choice if you want to go down this rabbit hole and see where it leads. I hope this message finds you well. You’re keeping the door open for the future but giving yourself the space you need for now. Look, your ex-boyfriend doesn’t need to know you’re struggling with the recovery process. Believe me, if you’re confused about how to respond to an ex asking how you are, you’re in good company. Just ignore those if he isn’t even trying. Even if you are asking for help, don’t let it bother you if your ex-boyfriend doesn’t reply. Fine, thanks. Maybe his dad is ill and you want to check in. That was, like, our first ever English lesson, right? Or, if you're interested in meeting up instead of flirting (or sexting) back and forth, try asking them to hang out and see how they respond. However you’re feeling about the breakup, there are four pieces of advice I want you to remember. If a woman breaks No Contact by texting her ex, it’s only natural that he will respond … When your ex asks you a personal question. Acceptance of your new place in life is mandatory. When the subject of the text/email is urgent. It’s amazing how three little words can be so powerful, yet unpredictable of its intentions. Just invite an open discussion and see where things go. My Ex Girlfriend Texted Me Asking How I Am. It can be confusing and frustrating for you. Forgive me, but I’m not a hater and prefer not to be the one burning bridges. If a woman breaks No Contact by texting her ex, it’s only natural … It's tricky to know how to respond to an ex asking how you are, but it's even trickier if you want her back. Okay, let’s get down to business here: how to respond to your ex-boyfriend who’s asking how you are doing. If your reply is along the lines of “what do you want” or “go to hell,” then you’re not in the right mindset for anything. Let me break it down into two pieces: the mindset and the text message. I wanted to let you know that I’m going to be in Miami next … If you suspect your ex wants to get back together, Dr. Solomon recommends directly asking them what's going on in their head when they text you. No matter what side of the breakup you're on, texting (or calling, or asking in person) an ex for a hookup is a horrible idea. Mindset: Sassy and Classy. Text messages like. Make sure you’ve taken some time to think about it all clearly before you push down this route. There’s nothing wrong with being friends with your ex if it works out for both of you. Remember that no matter how you feel or felt about him, asking you out again was probably a difficult thing for him because of your shared history. Did any … If you need to, write out a reply then give it a couple of hours. The reason it’s difficult to respond to a message like this is emotions. The message is probably just a quick, impulsive message to test the waters. When it comes to how men think about love, the key is to think simple. You are an ex-wife versus a divorced woman. If anger, hate, or jealousy rushes into your emotions when you see this message, you need to take some time to calm down. Don't immediately reply and take some time to think it over to figure out what you ultimately want out of this interaction. I’ve seen a lot of emails from our readers who get overly excited about this response and need some advice on the best way to read into this message and reply back. How Old are You? She’s no longer in your life and maybe and you’ve probably had no contact at all in recent weeks. The exact wording here will change on the situation, but the point is you’re communicating openly. Once you’ve made your decision, stick to it. Do you think it’s better to part ways entirely? Should I Talk To My Ex? There are so many factors involved and sometimes it just needs further discussion. What to say when ex asks how are you? But do it with some sass and class. While it is fun to relish in the ego-boost of an “ex-text”, do not overthink it. Perhaps he’s trying to find a way to write a good text back. In this article, we’ll be looking at a few basic things to keep in mind. You want to make him want you more. You’re still not sure what you want yet. It’s basic human decency. When you want to ask someone to give you something and you feel you need to be polite, it’s always a good idea to “soften” the sentence — I like the phrase: “Would it be OK if I got your number?” 3. No Contact should make you and your ex … Think about what kind of friendship you want with your ex. 6 years ago. Before I reveal my approach to responding to your ex’s “how are you” text message, I want to point out the wrong approach that you need to avoid. So what are you going to do about it? If she starts talking about relationship stuff, you can respond with: “I needed some time to think things through after we broke up. You can delete it on your phone and try to move on. You just want to get some basic conversation going to see where she’s at too. I'm so happy my ex wants to be friends and doesn't despise me." This is why you will want to determine if asking for your job back is a decision you're prepared for. You want a man, not a boy without manners! Do an activity. We want to spark interest with a hint of success at your ex. Respond asking for more information, citing specific statements that you’d like clarified. If you want your ex to finally leave you alone, you’ll have to reply in very specific ways. This is a simple, straight answer. You need to answer briefly, but in a positive way. “How are you?” I ask next, out of habit. I’m still working through things for myself and need some more time. “Telling your ex the approach you will be taking acts as evidence that you’ve provided all the clarity that you can at this point. When your ex sends you well wishes (birthdays/holidays etc).. How about you? This is about you and what kind of relationship you want (if any). Your comeback should be said with a smile and an even tone. How have you been? Focus on feeling strong and happy again. But no matter how you choose to respond, you should still know what your ideal salary is. Maybe just as friends? The answers to these are most often, “I am fine, thanks.”. If you return to your old position, you will experience the rigorous rehiring and resignation process once again. Above the forwarded message she said "How are you? Hopefully, the person will get the hint. Use this 4-step strategy as your template when responding to angry messages from your ex — if you even need to respond at all. Even if the sender is your ex-boyfriend, who cheated on you with your best friend. Concept #1: The Three Time Frames. Your email address will not be published. Ask them how they’ve been, keep the conversation going for a bit and then see if … When you’re ready, this is another situation where a simple “I’m good, how are you?” is the best initial reply. How to answer “How are you?”. Overall, think it through on how and when you’ll reply. They are trying to figure out if you are still available and/or if you’re still interested in them. Set a great tone in that first response, and you may improve your chances of moving forward in the hiring process. Your ex-girlfriend is trying to keep you around because she’s having a rough time on the dating market. All of a sudden, her name pops up in your notifications and she wants to know how you’re doing. The No Contact Rule- Is a period of time where you ignore your ex on purpose with the intent of making them miss you while at the same time giving yourself some time to cultivate your own life. Okay, let’s get down to business here: how to respond to your ex-boyfriend who’s asking how you are doing. Once you’ve established some basic conversation, it’s time to let her know. I’ll message you soon. She asked how you are, but that doesn’t mean you should go pouring your heart out in response. You should still try to maintain a safe distance from your ex because you do not want to come on too strong. It could be that you want to get back together, but you’ve seen a red flag that you need to discuss first. [Read: 16 signs your ex wants you back in their life] How to respond to a text from your ex and make them leave you alone. Well, you already know how I feel about you. Your ex is expecting you to get upset. If you’re looking for sympathy, there’s no need to reflect that in your text message. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. That even if you want her back, ignoring her will promote intrigue and make her want you more. If it hurts you in any way to respond to him, don't respond at all. Take some time to think your response through before you send it. It doesn’t matter if your ex texts you back or asks you how you’re doing, etc… when I say no contact, I really do mean NO CONTACT. Something like: “I’ve been thinking a lot about how things ended. Not bad. First, you’re being polite by responding. Things To Say To Your Ex That Will Mean Something To Them. Reference Check Questions You Don't Want to Touch Answer only the questions that you are comfortable answering if you receive a reference request phone call or document. If the goal is to get your ex to stop texting, you want to avoid saying anything that will likely inspire an emotional response. While some people don't mind telling their age, others are often offended. Get my best tips on dealing with a breakup with this new guide. If not, at the very least I will keep my ex in my life. Seasoned recruiters have a keen eye and can spot red flags like dishonesty, misrepresentation and job seekers who are “wishy-washy” on whether they’d consider the opportunity. Think about your reasons for wanting to talk to your ex, and be sure that it is only because you want to pursue a friendship.Be confident that your ex is the kind of person you want to be friends with, too. Once you secure a first-stage or phone interview, you should be prepared to answer common interview questions and discuss your salary expectations. As you determine how to ask for your job back, you should first decide if you're ready to ask. Whatever you decide, you must make up your mind before you reply (as you’ll see below). The best thing to do after a breakup is to focus on getting back to yourself. How you reach out is just as critical as to whom.. You are coming from a place of self-love and high value where you are demonstrating to your ex that you are living a life free of the need for their validation. I hope you are well!" If you’ve just responded with a 500-word message about how sad you are without her, things are about to get awkward! In that case, remaining friends or at least staying civil seems logical. Somewhere inside of you, there is still an attachment of some sort to either your marriage or your ex. I hope things are going well for you. Once you are aware of his inabilities, it will free you from the exhaustion of ever trying or hoping he will be different. We are strong women, and we can hold it together! The longer you wait, the more it takes away time and energy from your recovery. How hard is it to be a little more classy? Are you well? Especially when your ex-boyfriend hits you up while you’re doing No Contact and you’re just not ready to reply. In this instance, shutting her out of your life is the healthiest response for you both. Okay, here’s my formula for a great and responsive text message. There are still a lot of emotions involved here, but do your best to keep them under control. All of a sudden, a single text brings so many emotions flooding back, all without prior warning. Maybe you need to ask your ex something. If you’re looking for sympathy, then your ex is the last person that’s able to help you. With these five examples and general tips, you’ll know just how to respond to an ex asking how you are. I’m going to show you how you can quickly free yourself from over-analyzing this message and the best way to reply with sass and class. Sometimes, I recommend replying within an hour with one of my sassy messages (you’ll see below). Perhaps he can offer some comfort, but it’s probably not his intention with that text message. Below are five example replies you can use depending on your preferred outcome. Remember, you’re also asking your former flame how he’s doing. but How are you doing?. Forcing your ex to respond to your messages might push your ex further away and make your ex dread about receiving your text messages. If you don't say anything else, though, it might be a signal that you don't want to continue the conversation. Sure, you’re both officially single and free from each other, but there will be lingering feelings in there somewhere that still need to be addressed. I’ll also be giving you five different responses depending on your situation and the outcome you’re looking for. Asking her for a meet up via text. This is up to you. Everyone has their own style, so go ahead and change the wording if you need to. This hints to your ex boyfriend that you are active and moving forward with your life. If you scold them, they’ll call you a prude. You can say, "I'm sorry that you feel that way, but you're entitled to your opinion," or "I disagree with that, but you are entitled to your feelings." 5. Is he playing mind games? Don’t react to his message with any negativity. If possible, use humor to soften your response, and then change the subject. Above the forwarded message she said "How are you? Not bad. I’d like to discuss this more and maybe try this again.”. Once you determine your ideal outcome from this situation, knowing how to respond to an ex asking how you are gets easier. Maybe the interviewer needs you to state a number, or maybe they tell you what they’re offering and ask you to react. No matter how inconsequential or trivial the response they will see it as the door being opened for them to take up where they left before. One of the moments where you will start to get some excitement is when your ex sends you a text message. Text messages often make this even more difficult, especially when they have no context. 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